Month September 2015

Chosen by cats

Nancy Crowe

If you are in transition, chances are an animal is or is waiting to be your teacher. Cats in particular choose us for these missions, although some cleverly let us think we do the choosing.

For example: A tiny, loudmouthed tiger kitten adopted me at a Southern Indiana animal shelter when I was just out of graduate school and unsure of the next step. When I picked her up, she looked me straight in the eye and meowed. I’d passed muster.

UnknownRaven Mardirosian describes a similar experience in “Just Another Crazy Cat Lady Story” (2014). She had just arrived in Fort Collins, Colorado for graduate school. On the East Coast, she’d left behind her fundamentalist Christian family and her “sort-of” girlfriend at their Christian college, which banished Mardirosian from campus when their relationship was uncovered (by said girlfriend).

It was the beginning of many years of wandering — if not running — and yet there she was in an animal shelter, about to take on the commitment of adopting one of two kittens. She was drawn to the darker one, as the orange tabby reminded her a little too much of the beloved family cat whose loss she still grieved. But when the orange tabby’s tiny white paw grabbed her finger, Mardirosian knew she’d been chosen.

That orange tabby, Avery, became Mardirosian’s link to a kinder, gentler way of being amid a return to the East Coast and a series of jobs, schools, apartments and girlfriends. People in her life asked: When are you going to grow up? When are you going to get right with the Lord? Avery just napped in her lap, knowing she would figure it all out.

While living in New York City, Mardirosian adopted Zoey, a little gray street cat, through a fellow CCL (crazy cat lady). After thoroughly vetting Mardirosian and her living space, CCL brought Zoey for a trial visit.

Zoey turns her eyes my way: jade green, with just enough of a razor slit to show that I’m not the only bitch in the room. …

Then she decides to come over and say hello.

She likes you.

The magical three words. All of the chasing after my parents’ love, the attention of the beautiful redhead or blonde or black-haired girl at Henrietta’s … flies back in one terrifying sword of truth — she likes you — as Zoey remains in my lap, not quite seated, not quite standing.

She does, doesn’t she?

Still, in the beginning there was fearsome hissing and screaming, broken glass and an abscessed injury to the base of Avery’s tail. Though Zoey did settle down, she remained moody and opinionated — much like Idgie, my aforementioned loudmouthed tiger cat.

Mardirosian developed a unique relationship with each of her feline charges: “I’m much more aligned to Zoey, the secret observer. The runner. I’ve got that skill down pat. Avery challenges me to remove the labyrinth that winds its way around my heart and let others love me.”

Her account of Avery’s illness and the agonizing decision to let him go, after nearly two decades of life and love, is wrenching. Though deeply moving in and of itself, it brought back the loss of Idgie, who passed at age 16, quite vividly.

Even in her grief, Mardirosian recognizes, as I did, that her friend and guide is “safe, happy and free. … This crazy cat of mine will fly on. I may not know how — but trust the energy that propels him forward will move me in the same way.”

At our city shelter, I met a tortoiseshell kitten. I picked her up, and she reached out and patted my face with her paw. Lucy is now an easygoing 3-year-old, a very different cat with a new set of lessons.

My education continues.

Seven Questions with Alena Chapman

Nancy Crowe

The Seven Questions series continues with author Alena Chapman, whose book, You Can’t Escape a Prison if You Don’t Know You’re In One: What is Blocking Your Freedom? was published in January. It quickly became an international bestseller on Amazon.com. I must disclose here that Alena is a client, and it has been my honor to work with her on bringing this book and her other resources to life.

11703585_626501670785560_1483092237041839402_oAlena is also a singer, music teacher, speaker, workshop leader, coach, mother . . . and survivor. Here’s just a snippet of what she has to say.

1. What we now know as You Can’t Escape a Prison if You Don’t Know You’re In One  started out as journaling about the transformational “tools” you’d acquired. At what point in the process did you realize you were writing a book?

Yes, I did start by sitting in a coffee shop writing in my journal. Mentors and experiences were happening so fast and I was learning so much, I really wanted to capture everything in a journal for my own memory. Soon I was giving examples of these tools being used by me and by other people. The journal entries grew into chapters with each chapter heading being the new tool I learned. One day, I took a look at all the journal entries and said to myself, “Wow, I wish I had a book like this when I started breaking out of my prison.” That is when it hit me — I was writing a book.

2. How have your sons adjusted to your more public persona since the publication of your book?

How they act with me is the same. However, when You Can’t Escape From a Prison If You Don’t Know You’re In One: What Is Blocking Your Freedom? became an international bestseller, I heard from other people how proud my boys were of me and they were telling everyone. The hardest adjustment is that I am working at home and very busy. My children are not used to me being home, but not really available. So we all have had an adjustment.

3. Describe the role of music in your life.

Music has played and continues to play an important role in my life. I started studying music at fifteen years of age. I sang classical/opera or operettas for a long time. In 1989, when traveling around the country to sing was not as feasible, I started teaching in area universities and colleges. I taught voice, gave opera workshops, vocal-coached musicals, taught music history, and directed choirs. This is when I found my love for directing.

For the past nine years, my love has been self-development and helping others grow in their awareness and their lives.

However, my house is filled with music of all types. If you see me driving by, I am the one dancing in the car.

Music raises our vibration, gives meaning, and just feels good.

51NTogNJ2dL._SX345_BO1,204,203,200_4. In your book, you describe being about to close on a new home for yourself and the boys, and being suddenly overwhelmed with old paradigms about not being able to do such a thing on your own — that you needed a man to take care of you. The book tells us how you got past it, but how does an independent, 21st-century woman get to that place to begin with?

Great question! Even though women have come so very far in our country, sometimes the men have not, especially the older generation. My dad was born in the early 1940s, so his ideas had not caught up with women’s liberation. Also, he always worried about me, my independence, and my creative spirit, which he did not understand.

Yes, I was very independent. I moved to another state, started my own life — but looking back, I see there were many times in my life I would hear his voice and it would alter my decisions for my life. Why? Because he was my dad, a major person in my life and I loved him dearly — along with trusting him.

However, I found that every decision I based on what another person believes or says always turns out wrong for me. I can now say from experience: I am the only one to know what is good for me. Any time I am not sure which path to choose, I may ask others their opinion, but it is my decision what I do with the information.

Really, I need to thank my dad. In a roundabout way he taught me to be even more independent, believing in myself, and strong.

5. What makes you stop whatever you’re doing and take a picture?

Beauty — awesome, ever-changing beauty. I love vistas — blue skies, sunsets, water with the sun dancing on its surface. Every day, we receive as a gift from the universe a new sky. Did you know there is never the same sky appearing to us? Each one is new and different. But if we do not notice, we miss that sky forever.

We wake to find clouds hovering below a mountain’s peak or an innocent fawn walking in our path. The old woman who shares her stories with the lines in her face and the sparkle of her eye and the two-year-old boy who holds a handful of dandelions as if they were made of gold. This is life in its splendor. A spectacular gift which, if I am lucky, I can capture with my camera to remind me of that moment.

My world always feels blessed when I open my eyes and see the beauty, the uniqueness, and the abundance of our universe.

This is what I stop whatever I am doing, become totally present, and take my picture.

6. What was on your gratitude list this morning (that you’d like to share, anyway)?

Gratitude lists start with, “I am so happy and grateful for…” Gratitude lists are a must-do to gain/keep your perspective, sharpen your focus, and raise your vibration. I always feel happier and ready to start my day.

The one constant on my list is my children. I can never be more thankful than I am for the joy and growth they give me.

This morning I also listed:

2. My ability to help so many people live lives that they love

3. My awesome friends

4. The wonderful partner in my life

5. I have a new day to achieve my desires

6. The beautiful fall day

7. All the blessings and opportunities entering my life

8. My own growth and discovery

9. The health of my family

10. Me

After I list what I am thankful for, I read through the list, feeling the thankfulness. This helps even more to internalize the gratefulness.

Next I become quiet, like a mini meditation, and I ask for guidance for the day. Then while still in this quiet state, I send love and peace to three people who are bothering me.

If you have never done a gratitude list or are trying to change your life for the better, it is best to write a list first thing in the morning and another before you go to bed. Soon you will find yourself being grateful throughout your day.

Gratitude is the attitude changer!

7. What are you working on now?

Right now I am very busy. I have a new program and course coming out in October. The program is recorded by me and includes a workbook, the CDs or mp3s, and my international bestselling book: You Can’t Escape From a Prison If You Don’t Know You’re In One: What is Blocking Your Freedom? The course is eight weeks, covers the areas in the program, and much more. Also, the course includes four half-hour private consultations with me, an empowering mastermind group with people from the course, and eight meditation CDs or mp3s. I am very excited to offer and teach these wonderful tools to people in such a great way.

Nov. 7, 2015 will be a highlight of the year. I will be having a one-day seminar at the Manchester University College of Pharmacy in Fort Wayne at 10627 Diebold Road next to Parkview Hospital. This is a great way to discover and see the opportunities and start on bettering your life or achieving your dreams. I will give you tools and plans to begin right away. If you seriously want a difference in your life — this is the event to attend. (Check www.alenachapman.com for more details and registration.)

And if all that is not enough, there is a new book just starting. It should be out in the summer of 2016.

•  •  •

Many thanks to Alena for being my guest today. Check out her podcast, “Conversations with Alena,” available on her website (above) and on iTunes. Happy Labor Day, everyone!

Within arm’s reach

Nancy Crowe

It’s impossible for me to watch shows like “Ocean Mysteries” and “Sea Rescue” without feeling torn up over the way we are tearing up our world. The seal with the fishing line tightening around its neck, cutting into the flesh. The pelican with the pouch someone slashed with a knife. And of course the oil-covered fish, birds, and other creatures. The lovely image above was the artist’s response to the 2010 Gulf of Mexico oil spill. The world needs to know this and consider the implications, I remind myself. There is more to learn.

A recent episode dealt with a giant Pacific octopus who’d deposited some 20,000 eggs in her habitat at a marine life center. She would care for these eggs constantly. And that would be her final act, as octopuses die around the same time as their eggs hatch. Paul, the World Cup-match-predicting octopus in Germany, only lived to be two and a half years old, and that was considered a normal octopus lifespan.

This is not human cruelty or carelessness; it’s nature. We can do any number of things to take better care of our earth and help where there is hurt. All we can do about the incredible sadness of things like this is to stay present and keep learning.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22609485-the-soul-of-an-octopusA short time later, I found The Soul of an Octopus: A Surprising Exploration into the Wonder of Consciousness (Atria Books, 2015) at a bookstore. The book grew out of author Sy Montgomery’s article in Orion magazine about her unique friendship with an octopus named Athena at the New England Aquarium. Octopuses (not octopi, she says) are intelligent creatures who solve problems, change colors according to their health and mood, and recognize the people who care for them.

Most of the book centers around the New England Aquarium and the staff and volunteers who care for a succession of Giant Pacific octopuses there. Montgomery describes her first “handshake” with Athena — octopuses taste with their entire bodies, but their suckers are the most sensitive — as “an exceptionally intimate embrace.” When Athena died suddenly, Montgomery, who felt she was just getting to know this new invertebrate friend, was surprised by her grief.

Other octopuses would cross her path, notably Octavia. “I stroked her head, her arms, her webbing, absorbed in her presence. She seemed equally attentive to me.”  Octavia also mischievously hosed a high school student job-shadowing Montgomery for the day. As Octavia began to age, the aquarium acquired young Kali, an inordinately curious escape artist. Then there was Karma, who arrived with part of her second right arm missing.

Also compelling are the stories of the humans Montgomery works with, including sixteen-year-old volunteer Anna, who has Asperger’s syndrome, a few health problems, and a host of fish tanks at home. “Going behind the scenes at the aquarium changed my life,” she says.

Though I do have reservations about animals such as octopuses being kept in captivity, reputable aquariums serve a valuable purpose. They provide ways to learn about and connect with sea life that would be far less likely or impossible in the wild. This sort of connection translates much more readily to caring and conservation than, say, abstractly hearing over and over again about the importance of conservation. The aquariums that lean more toward amusement parks or other commercial enterprises? Maybe not so much.

Of course, caring comes with a cost, such as feeling torn up inside when animals suffer or natural wonders are trashed. Or grieving over the loss of friends (of any species) whose time on earth seems absurdly short.

Still, we reach out — to hold hands with an octopus, plant a garden, recycle a pop can, or do any other seemingly small thing that keeps the regenerative force of caring alive.